Scraping my plate clean...

Well, it’s been a VEEEEEERRRRRRRYYYYYYY long time since my last blog entry. So long, in fact, that I considered just deleting the previous posts and starting over…Being the perfectionist that I am, I have a hard time when things aren’t done well, and with such a huge gap, that to me says “not done well!”  Oh well…*sigh*

Anyway, there have been a number of things that have happened in my life since I last blogged.  I’m just going to jump in where I’m at, rather than bore you with all the details... 

I am currently in a season where God has placed a number of people with very serious situations in my midst.  This leaves me asking many questions. What is my role?  Am I just supposed to be an ear to listen?  A shoulder to cry upon?  Am I to be a prayer warrior?  An influencer through words or actions?  A witness?  Or am I to just mind my own business? What is God trying to show me in all this?

As I ponder these  circumstances, one of the truths that God is showing me, is that I need to cherish the moments that seem to slip by, unnoticed, as I'm trying to get to the next "thing" in life.  I am always hurrying through my day/week/month/year to get to the next phase.  But, why? When I do that, I miss out on the little things that make life more enjoyable, and the struggles less painful!  

For example... Kendall will only be 3 for another 6 months...then age 3 is gone, and it will never be the same again.  Pretty soon she won't be excited about eating "strawberries and 'pinealopes' (pineapples)" with supper or having pretend sleepovers with  her imaginary kids, bringing me tea in her little pink teacup set, or showing me her latest dance moves on the Wii!

Brock will be 6 in June. 5 will be a distant memory of him explaining the logic and reasoning behind why a pancake is called a pancake, and practicing his "Bald Bull" boxing moves in his underpants will be a treasured memory that I won't soon forget.  His sweet silliness is just what this mommy should treasures most her boy.  But how much longer will that snuggly little  underpants boy be my snuggly little underpants boy?!

Or how Alexandra, already at age 7, only allows me to snuggle with her when she feels like it... and most certainly not in front of her friends. Ugh!  Where did my precious little baby girl go?  It seems like such a short time ago I was terrified, bringing home my firstborn, and now she's already reading books meant for a third grader, choreographing her own dances with her best friend Madisyn, and talking about how she's going to always live with her baby sister and take care of me and Sean when we are old.  I think I might just hold her to that one!

When I think of how fragile life is, and how in an instant life as we know it can change it's course, it's sad to think that we let life pass us by without truly appreciating the beauty in those small moments.  I'm committing to making a conscious choice to savor each bite that life serves me.  There will be bites that aren't as paletable as others.  That's ok.  I'm not going to let those bites spoil the rich, delicious ones that are nestled among them!  It makes the sweet treats all the more enjoyable!  I won't always succeed, but I will pick myself up again and recommit when I fall.

I love the image that author, Priscilla Shirer of The Resolution for Women uses as a parallel.  She writes, "I snapped out of my momentary trance and looked down at my plate.  No more full bites left.  Just chocolate syrup lacing the bottom, along with tiny crumbs of spongy cake dotted with miniscule dollops of whipped cream.  With new resolve I started scraping up everything I could salvage, not wanting to leave behind any part of this delicious experience...Glad I didn't miss anything on my plate.  Promising never again to miss anything in my life."  You see, as she was focused on the "next thing," she had eaten most of her decadent dessert without even bothering to enjoy those delicious bites. What a waste of calories, huh?  ;)

How many times have I done that with my days?

How many times have you woken up in the morning only to say to yourself, "if I can just make it until nap-time, then I'll be ok."  Or, "If I can just get through this week, then I can spend some quality time with my kids." We miss out on so many great things along the way! 

Friends, let's scrape our plates clean and savor every morsel of joy there is! 

...ok, now I'm hungry for  some Molten Chocolate Cake...

Content, whatever the circumstances

In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul writes, "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

 

Can you say the same? Have you learned what it means to be content, regardless of your current successes or failures? Regardless of how people treat you? Do you wake up every day giving thanks for His new mercies, regardless of whether or not you think you deserve the circumstances you are facing, the very circumstances that have brought you pain, sadness, anxiety, or heartache. Could it be financial strife, or maybe a broken relationship that you are allowing yourself to be consumed by? Have you asked God to move you out of this state of brokenness?

Paul has been there. He experienced great loss, suffering great persecution for defending his faith, and has also had the great privilege of experiencing God's great blessing. He was a sinner, just like you and me, and he has suffered greatly for the sake of his ministry. The wonderful lesson that he presents to us in his letter to the Philippians is that it is possible to be content, to find joy, in all circumstances. How? Because we can do all things through him (Christ) who gives us strength.

We weren't designed to handle life on our own. We were designed by a wonderful God who cares about us. He is the Great Comforter, and His word brings us just that. If you are feeling worried or anxious, remember that His word says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Phil 4:6) Did you catch that? He says in EVERYTHING, pray! Without difficult times, its easy to become self reliant.

Instead of dwelling in the depths of our lowest lows, let's take on Paul's attitude. Let's view our circumstances as God views them. Let's not dwell on the have nots, or the disappointments, or the "unfairness" of our situations. I have learned so much more from my failures and struggles than I have from any success or victories God has allowed me to experience. Is God stretching us, molding us into closer likeness to the Son? Is He teaching us to graciously and humbly accept our successes by sprinkling in a few hard lessons? Can we truly appreciate our blessings without knowing loss? Could it be that that's the only way He can get our attention because we're so focused on ourselves? Could be that it's not even about us at all. Maybe God is using your life to change someone else's.

I can relate to Paul on a smaller scale. While my sufferings have been minimal in comparison, I know what it means to have plenty, and I know what it means to be in want. Every time I am tempted to wallow in grief and negativity, He reminds me that I can do all things through him who gives me strength. I CAN have a positive attitude as long as I am consistent in seeking Christ's strength to bring me to that place. How? By regularly spending time in the word, and in prayer. Consistently. Daily. Dedicated. Time.

As James says in Chapter 1, verses 2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

There are many trials that come to mind that I do not consider to be joyful in and of themselves. Death, job loss, marital strife, disability, depression... However, the joy comes from knowing that in these trials, we can lean on Jesus Christ to provide us the strength to endure. There is great joy in knowing that we are becoming stronger in our faith. That God has enough faith in us that he would use us as a witness to others is an honor. And best of all, how wonderful is it that we are so loved that God would see to it that we would be made mature, complete, and lacking nothing.

At a recent conference that I attended, God was clearly speaking to me about my attitude in my circumstances. The truth (for me) was that it may not be well with my circumstances, but it is well with my soul. So much of our own happiness and contentment rests in our attitude and perspective about our situation.

Lord, I pray that I would see less than ideal circumstances not from my own point of view, but from Yours! Help me to lean on You when I need an attitude adjustment. Open the eyes to all the blessings you've poured out on me when the trials seem to muddy the view. It is in Your Son's precious name that I pray. Amen.

I wanted to include a link to the song "Blessings" by Laura Story. If you've never heard it before, please take the time to listen. You will not be disappointed.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

Operation Christmas Tree

Well, yesterday marked our first Foley family Christmas tradition. What a wonderful idea Sean had to go and cut our own tree at the Green Tree Farm on Hwy 54 in Plover. For the last several years, since 2004 to be exact, we have had an artificial tree. I guess I just thought it was too much work to deal with 3 kids under age 4 and a real tree! You had to shop for the tree, then bring it inside, string my own lights on it (the fake tree was pre-lit), water it regularly (and anyone who really knows me, knows of my inability to keep alive anything planted in soil) in order to prevent the house from burning to the ground, and then you have to haul it back outside, dry and half-dead dropping boatloads of needles all over the floor after I was already wiped out from Christmas. In previous years, I said, "no, thank you!"

 

 

Well, now that the kids are older, and Sean gave me a whole year to gear up for it, I went along with his idea. I tossed the fake, pre-lit tree last year after Christmas. I figured why not, it didn't really light up most of the time any way, and it had seen better days! I am so glad that we started this new family tradition! We had a wonderful time, and the kids thought it was completely amazing! The whole trip only took about an hour and a half (including drive time) and we have a wonderful smelling tree that Sean cut down with his bare hands! Granted, it's only about 6 1/2 feet tall, but it warms up our whole house with its beauty and it's aroma. Sure beats the "Christmas Tree" scented candles we've lit in the past!

During our trip to the Christmas Tree Farm, we rode Thomas the Train, grabbed our trusty saw and headed out to select our tree. Kendall was fascinated by all the trees her size! Alexandra seemed to have pretty good taste in tree selection. Brock was more into picking up branches left behind by others who did a little pruning before toting their trees home. Ultimately, we ended up with the very first tree that Sean spotted.

After a little team work, Sean sawing, Brock sawing (sort of) and the girls holding the tree steady while I played photographer, we had our tree.  We hauled it over to the road, and headed into the Hobo Shack for some warming up by the fire while we waited for Thomas to come back, and to roast some marshmallows! After all that tree cutting and marshmallow roasting the kids were all about finding some hot chocolate! So when Thomas the Train came by, he loaded us up, along with our tree, and we headed back to where we were parked. Before we all made it off the train, the workers were already hard at work shaking our tree for us, and baling it so we could easily transport it home. Sean was sure to explain every aspect of raising, sheering, shaking and baling trees. As a teenager, he used to work for a Tree Farm, sheering trees!

Once we brought the tree home, I began the "fun" job of stringing up the lights. After one trip to Walmart, and then to Shopko, for some needed supplies, Alexandra and I began trimming the tree. Well, sort of...see this family tradition still has some kinks to be worked out. Typically, I work best alone, but when you have a family, they all want to help. Weird, huh? Since I struggle with allowing too much control and risk into the hands of my kids, I am still working on getting over that so that the whole Christmas Tree process will include everyone in the decorating. So if I am being completely honest, I actually tried to get a jump start on decorating while flying just below the radar. Alexandra is just too sharp for that, though! First, she helped me by putting the hooks on all the balls, but because they need to be perfectly spaced out, I hung all the balls. Then came the glitter "joy" and snowflake ornaments. Alexandra opened up all the thread loops for me so all I had to do was hang...you know, the fun part! But then they started to all stick together, which required me to pull them apart, because they were too delicate for Alex to pull apart. Well, that little hold up led to her just casually hanging things on the tree. I must admit, she did a pretty good job. Soon enough, Kendall's eagle eye spotted Sissy hanging ornaments!  The rest of the tree decorating experience was a bit more stressful than I would have liked it to be. Kendall typically does not compute the meaning of the words "no" or "wait for Mommy!" Well, she probably computes, but rather chooses to do things her own way. ;)

 

 

Of course you may be wondering where the boys were during all this decorating. Well, Sean was resting up for a night of work after being up all day, and Brock fell asleep watching a movie on netflix. Sean doesn't care if he decorates it at all, but let me tell you, when the girls started boasting about all the decorating they got to do, Brock broke out into a host of dramatic sobs. That boy does not lack sensitivity in any way, shape or form! God forbid anyone do something without his equal opportunity to assure "fairness" in all things...he's so the middle child! He did get to stay up a little later than his sisters that night, so he got to help hang the stockings. How excited he was! Funny, no mention from him that it wasn't fair that the girls had to go to bed instead of being able to stay up late with him!

Needless to say, (short story made long by my long-winded self) the tradition will live on, and become more all-inclusive, once I get over my control issues and allow the kids to be involved in the whole decorating process!

A Work in Progress...

I've had a lot of things on my mind lately, and have struggled with settling on one topic to blog about. My brain tends to flit from one thought to the next without so much as a thread to hold them together. Sometimes I feel like I live my life this way as well. I'm flitting from one thing to the next, trying to find where I belong; searching for something that might be better for me or for my family. And for whatever reason, as soon as something starts to feel comfortable, I flutter on to the next hobby to obsess over, the next system to implement, or the next "opportunity" to get involved in. I often ask myself why I am such a glutton for punishment, always moving on and taking on something new just as I am finally beginning to feel settled. Some people might conclude that this is because I cannot commit to anything long-term. Others might think I must be going through an identity crisis. Maybe a few might even view this as being a "life-long learner!" (I prefer the last opinion, personally!)



As I observe the people (friends, family, aquaintences and perfect strangers) around me, I draw my own conclusions about what their lives must be like. I imagine what it would be like to live inside their bodies, and think the thoughts that they think; to feel and understand the feelings their hearts generate. Strange? Probably, but hear me out. Curiosity drives us to understand what it is that makes a person tick. We all form our own ideas of how and why people operate the way they do. But truthfully, there is no way we can possibly know what that person is thinking, despite how much we think we know about them. They might not even know what they are thinking! For crying out loud, they might not even be thinking, but rather feeling their way through their actions and words.


In a recent lesson by Beth Moore from her "Wising Up" study on the book of Proverbs, she emphasizes that God is the only one who can truly know our hearts. He is "closer to me than I am to myself," interior intimo meo. When we say or do things that might seem uncharacteristic of who we think we are, even WE don't understand what makes us behave a certain way sometimes. I don't really understand why I said what I said...I just said it! God is the only one who can discern the why that leads to the what. Sometimes he reveals it to us, sometimes he hangs onto it, saving it for another life-lesson later on.


This makes me think, what conclusions have people drawn about me and my life?

How do people perceive my heart to feel like, and my mind to think like? (Or am I the only weirdo that does that?)

Have my motives or intentions been misunderstood?

Have my words been misinterpreted? Or maybe I misspoke, without even giving it a second thought.

Do I practice what I profess to believe?

Does my mind appear to be set on all things true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable excellent or praisworthy?

Do my actions reflect those thoughts?
Hmmm... yes and painfully, no.

I am learning to embrace the idea that it does not matter whether people in this world approve or disapprove of me and my choices, its God's approval that I seek. And He just happens to love me regardless! Still I fall into that same old rut, self-conscious of what others think about me. Then it dawned on me...it does matter what others think of me, because as a Christian, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. If I am a follower, then it is my responsibility to act and speak in a manner that is worthy of Jesus.

Sometimes I catch myself speaking before I think, and I need to remind myself of Proverbs 18:2, "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions." Well I know one thing is for certain, I do not want to be classified as a fool! My mouth has gotten me in trouble a time or two before (darn tongue). Satan uses the tongue to divide people and to pit us against one another. Nothing pleases him more than when a relationship is damaged. Our words can cause a wildfire ain't nobody puttin' out! Once the fire's burning, one can neither control, nor reverse the damage that's been done. That's the extreme power of the tongue. Choose your words wisely. Let us not allow him the upper hand in ruining a once healthy relationship. James 1:19 tells us, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." I know this, yet fail to practice it sometimes. How about you?

A couple verses later in 1:22 & 26-27, James says"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says... If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless...keep oneself from being polluted by the world." I think that pretty much sums it up! Do what it (the Word) says or your talk means nothing without the walk!

I am seeking first to understand. When I perceive a person to be upsetting me, I'm choosing to pray before I speak, rather than give them a piece of my self-righteous mind.

The following verses from Proverbs have been great one-liner reminders when I am tempted to become annoyed, angered, or to retaliate with my tongue. I don't get it right all the time, but I get it right more now than I did several years ago, thanks to being in God's Word on a regular basis and trying to do what it says!

"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." Prov 12:16

"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Prov 13:3

Please don't misunderstand my heart, I am writing this as someone who struggles daily with my thoughts and my words. I do not profess to have conquered mindsets and habits that have been solidifying for 33 years. God has called me to be transparent about my struggles, and how He is helping me to break through the thick layer of sin and muck, bit by bit. I am a work in progress. And this is a HUGE improvement...years ago, I might have just been considered a real "piece of work." ;)

Comments and Followers

I have had a number of readers ask why they haven't been successful in leaving a comment to some of the blog posts...well, I've discovered that I had a setting fixed so that only "followers" would be allowed to leave comments. I have since changed that setting.

You should now be able to freely post a comment by clicking on 'comments' and then 'selecting a profile' from the drop down list. Here, you can select from the list either the id's you might already have established with your email or twitter accounts, or you can select anonymous. Once you submit the post, you will have to type in a 'letter verification' and it will then be sent to me for verification before it will actually show up under the blog entry.

I hope this clarifies the art of comment leaving! ;)

If you would like to 'follow me,' you need to have a google, twitter or yahoo account (email address or twitter acct) set up. If you do not have one, you can set one up in order to follow me. I'm pretty sure there's a link available for Google if you'd like to set one up.

Thanks for reading! Have a great Tuesday!

I GIVE UP!!!!!

I love nothing more than being in a quiet, clean, peaceful, organized space. I can hear myself think more clearly. I imagine myself enjoying a cup of Stone Creek Coffee while I read, or knit, or stamp, or whatever hobby I choose to pick up for the day. Everything feels under control, and I feel good about myself in that space. I am in complete control.

Unfortunately, for me, this space does not exist in my life as I know it. With 3 kids ages 6, 5, and 2, and a husband who works very long hours, I only dream of a day where I am in complete control! I swear, I thought mom was supposed to be in charge here!!!!

I always thought, when Sean and I decided to have kids, I would be the kind of mom who wouldn't let my kids get away with disrespect or disobedience. They wouldn't be allowed to trash the house and get away with it. My kids would learn, through whatever means necessary, right from wrong. I've learned that it's not so simple to produce little soldier children who think and act like they should 100% of the time. I guess I was holding them to a higher standard that I hold myself to!

Being a stay at home mom has its ups and downs. It's a true blessing to be able to stay at home, but I've found that it's far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Actually, I never imagined I would EVER be a stay at home mom in the first place! As a young adult, having children wasn't really something I dreamed of doing. I dreamed of dancing in Janet Jackson's music videos, of being a "Fly girl" on In Living Color, and of singing and dancing on Broadway! ;) Now, I cannot imagine my life without my husband and kids. God has shown me, through this role of being a mom, what really matters in life. He's also shown me that what I thought really mattered to me in my life, was getting in the way of my being a better mom and wife. I am thankful for that intervention.

My home is as neat as I'm able to keep it with three kids and a husband undoing everything within moments of getting something done. (So far, I've been able to cope without the use of prescription drugs!)

I think I've developped ADD as an adult, and I don't think it's any coincidence that it began after I had kids! Some days are good, some not so good.

I'd compare completing simple daily tasks with 3 kids at home to working in an office. An office where some jerk is constantly pulling the keyboard or mouse out from underneath your hands every time you think its safe to actually accomplish something. Meanwhile, the whole office is snickering as they peer around the walls of their cubicles. (Those office snickerers would represent grandparents, giddy that you are finally on the receiving end of what you delivered to them for 18+ years!)

On occassion, before getting out of bed in the morning, I remind myself of how many hours before the kids go down for a nap.

Some days I am reminded that it's 5 o'clock somewhere.

But every day, I have the unconditional love of my family. A supportive husband who works hard to take care of his family. Three precious babes who give the best hugs, kisses and notes a mom could ever hope for. And Charlie, the coolest little shih-tzu who ever lived!

In the chaos of life that surrounds me, the only choice I have at this point is to accept it. I've tried fighting it (the chaos), but seriously, I GIVE UP! It's a losing battle that I am not fit to fight! I've resorted to a new strategy that seems to be more effective. I am giving up my control in the situation and giving it to God; He's far better suited for the job than I ever was in the first place. I surrender!!!

There are days when I am convinced that there are just not enough hours in the day to get done what I need to get done. But then I discovered, God gives us just enough time in a day to complete what He desires for us to complete, and no more. Wow! So my to-do list is longer than God's? Well that's just awesome news! I'm so glad I'm no longer in charge! I could get used to this!

I am giving up control, slowing down (really, I swear I am), and attempting to learn whatever it is I am supposed to learn from the "incidents" I face throughout my day. Heck, maybe pulling the rug out from under me is the best way to get my attention! God knew how to get me to finally give up control...making me realize that I don't have the ability to do this job on my own was effective, to say the very least.

Nugget of truth for today:
"He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe."
Proverbs 28:26

Blending In, Or Standing Out Part 2

As I prayed and asked for God's wisdom in what He wanted for me in this current season of my life, He pointed me to the following passages of scripture, Romans 12:2, and Isaiah 26:3. In them, I found both direction and reassurance.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, perfect, and pleasing will." This truth that God spoke to me coincided with a recent Bible study I had been doing in the book of Daniel. With God, there are no coincidences, He's planned it all, and I have no doubt that he was speaking directly to me, convicting me of some poor choices. My choices do not always reflect that of a follower of Christ. I am human, and I am a sinner. However, reading Romans 12:2, and studying Daniel together were clear instructions from God that I needed to do something about my choices. Daniel was strong enough in his faith and his trust in God, that he did not conform to the patterns of the indulgent world of Babylon, where he was forced to live. Even with the fear of death, Daniel honored God's commands to him, before he worried about what anyone else would say or do to him. He knew that in his obedience, God would protect him. Daniel stood out in his day for living a life of integrity, standing firm in his beliefs, and God used him for great things. That is what I hope to do as well.

My eyes have been opened to the patterns of this world. I've begun recognizing how our materialism has affected our incessant need for more, never ever satisfying our desires. Living selfishly, pursuing our own interests which might not be in the best interests of our children and husbands/wives are a common pattern of this world. After all, we are in an era of entitlement, and goll darn, "I deserve to be happy." The constant disrespect for men, mainly husbands, in the media has given many women permission to do the same in their homes. We are reaping what we've sown, for sure, in this department. However, disprespecting our men has become a comman pattern of this world we live in. Divorce is at an all time high. Our speech; sarcasm, crude language, sexual inuendo and gossip have become acceptable in our culture. Chalk it up to our false sense of freedom of speech, regardless of who we hurt in the process. The television shows I choose to watch, the music I chose to listen and dance to, and the people I choose to associate with all affect what is going on inside my heart and mind. And if our hearts truly are "the wellspring of life," as Proverbs 4:23 tells us, then the outflow of our hearts is only as good as what we choose to fill it with.

The patterns of this world are what have brought our country to a current state of depression financially and emotionally. People have placed their trust in the things of this world to make them happy, or to provide fulfillment. Time and time again, the things of this world (money, success, material possessions, drugs and alcohol, etc.) bring only temporary gratification, and long term lack of fulfillment. Placing our trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, and our lives in His hands, is the only true source of unending joy. Only He is able to provide that "perfect peace," that Isaiah 26:3 speaks of. This perfect peace is what we all seem to be searching for, yet we have been searching in the wrong places. Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." God will not keep us in perfect peace him who trusts in the stock market, or our jobs, or the economy, or our earthly possessions, or our husbands. Only those of us who chose to place our trust in God will be blessed with perfect peace. Perfect peace does not necessarily mean free from strife and hardship. No one is free from experiencing strife and hardship. However, when we allow him access to our hearts fully, He promises to bring us peace.

I am chosing not to be lured away from living my faith by the enemy who reminds me that I might not be accepted by my peers if I speak too loudly. Previously, my insecurities, and the fear of not fitting in would have kept me from sharing publicly my struggles and victories in Christ. I am a different person now, and I'm choosing to STAND OUT, and stand up for my belief in Jesus Christ as my savior. I am willing to walk in obedience, even when that means chosing the road less travelled by my peers. And, I am ok with hearing whispers of, "she must be crazy!" Or, "she's lost her mind!" ;) I embrace the label "Jesus Freak" wholeheartedly!