I have had a number of readers ask why they haven't been successful in leaving a comment to some of the blog posts...well, I've discovered that I had a setting fixed so that only "followers" would be allowed to leave comments. I have since changed that setting.
You should now be able to freely post a comment by clicking on 'comments' and then 'selecting a profile' from the drop down list. Here, you can select from the list either the id's you might already have established with your email or twitter accounts, or you can select anonymous. Once you submit the post, you will have to type in a 'letter verification' and it will then be sent to me for verification before it will actually show up under the blog entry.
I hope this clarifies the art of comment leaving! ;)
If you would like to 'follow me,' you need to have a google, twitter or yahoo account (email address or twitter acct) set up. If you do not have one, you can set one up in order to follow me. I'm pretty sure there's a link available for Google if you'd like to set one up.
Thanks for reading! Have a great Tuesday!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
I GIVE UP!!!!!
I love nothing more than being in a quiet, clean, peaceful, organized space. I can hear myself think more clearly. I imagine myself enjoying a cup of Stone Creek Coffee while I read, or knit, or stamp, or whatever hobby I choose to pick up for the day. Everything feels under control, and I feel good about myself in that space. I am in complete control.
Unfortunately, for me, this space does not exist in my life as I know it. With 3 kids ages 6, 5, and 2, and a husband who works very long hours, I only dream of a day where I am in complete control! I swear, I thought mom was supposed to be in charge here!!!!
I always thought, when Sean and I decided to have kids, I would be the kind of mom who wouldn't let my kids get away with disrespect or disobedience. They wouldn't be allowed to trash the house and get away with it. My kids would learn, through whatever means necessary, right from wrong. I've learned that it's not so simple to produce little soldier children who think and act like they should 100% of the time. I guess I was holding them to a higher standard that I hold myself to!
Being a stay at home mom has its ups and downs. It's a true blessing to be able to stay at home, but I've found that it's far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Actually, I never imagined I would EVER be a stay at home mom in the first place! As a young adult, having children wasn't really something I dreamed of doing. I dreamed of dancing in Janet Jackson's music videos, of being a "Fly girl" on In Living Color, and of singing and dancing on Broadway! ;) Now, I cannot imagine my life without my husband and kids. God has shown me, through this role of being a mom, what really matters in life. He's also shown me that what I thought really mattered to me in my life, was getting in the way of my being a better mom and wife. I am thankful for that intervention.
My home is as neat as I'm able to keep it with three kids and a husband undoing everything within moments of getting something done. (So far, I've been able to cope without the use of prescription drugs!)
I think I've developped ADD as an adult, and I don't think it's any coincidence that it began after I had kids! Some days are good, some not so good.
I'd compare completing simple daily tasks with 3 kids at home to working in an office. An office where some jerk is constantly pulling the keyboard or mouse out from underneath your hands every time you think its safe to actually accomplish something. Meanwhile, the whole office is snickering as they peer around the walls of their cubicles. (Those office snickerers would represent grandparents, giddy that you are finally on the receiving end of what you delivered to them for 18+ years!)
On occassion, before getting out of bed in the morning, I remind myself of how many hours before the kids go down for a nap.
Some days I am reminded that it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
But every day, I have the unconditional love of my family. A supportive husband who works hard to take care of his family. Three precious babes who give the best hugs, kisses and notes a mom could ever hope for. And Charlie, the coolest little shih-tzu who ever lived!
In the chaos of life that surrounds me, the only choice I have at this point is to accept it. I've tried fighting it (the chaos), but seriously, I GIVE UP! It's a losing battle that I am not fit to fight! I've resorted to a new strategy that seems to be more effective. I am giving up my control in the situation and giving it to God; He's far better suited for the job than I ever was in the first place. I surrender!!!
There are days when I am convinced that there are just not enough hours in the day to get done what I need to get done. But then I discovered, God gives us just enough time in a day to complete what He desires for us to complete, and no more. Wow! So my to-do list is longer than God's? Well that's just awesome news! I'm so glad I'm no longer in charge! I could get used to this!
I am giving up control, slowing down (really, I swear I am), and attempting to learn whatever it is I am supposed to learn from the "incidents" I face throughout my day. Heck, maybe pulling the rug out from under me is the best way to get my attention! God knew how to get me to finally give up control...making me realize that I don't have the ability to do this job on my own was effective, to say the very least.
Nugget of truth for today:
"He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe."
Proverbs 28:26
Unfortunately, for me, this space does not exist in my life as I know it. With 3 kids ages 6, 5, and 2, and a husband who works very long hours, I only dream of a day where I am in complete control! I swear, I thought mom was supposed to be in charge here!!!!
I always thought, when Sean and I decided to have kids, I would be the kind of mom who wouldn't let my kids get away with disrespect or disobedience. They wouldn't be allowed to trash the house and get away with it. My kids would learn, through whatever means necessary, right from wrong. I've learned that it's not so simple to produce little soldier children who think and act like they should 100% of the time. I guess I was holding them to a higher standard that I hold myself to!
Being a stay at home mom has its ups and downs. It's a true blessing to be able to stay at home, but I've found that it's far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Actually, I never imagined I would EVER be a stay at home mom in the first place! As a young adult, having children wasn't really something I dreamed of doing. I dreamed of dancing in Janet Jackson's music videos, of being a "Fly girl" on In Living Color, and of singing and dancing on Broadway! ;) Now, I cannot imagine my life without my husband and kids. God has shown me, through this role of being a mom, what really matters in life. He's also shown me that what I thought really mattered to me in my life, was getting in the way of my being a better mom and wife. I am thankful for that intervention.
My home is as neat as I'm able to keep it with three kids and a husband undoing everything within moments of getting something done. (So far, I've been able to cope without the use of prescription drugs!)
I think I've developped ADD as an adult, and I don't think it's any coincidence that it began after I had kids! Some days are good, some not so good.
I'd compare completing simple daily tasks with 3 kids at home to working in an office. An office where some jerk is constantly pulling the keyboard or mouse out from underneath your hands every time you think its safe to actually accomplish something. Meanwhile, the whole office is snickering as they peer around the walls of their cubicles. (Those office snickerers would represent grandparents, giddy that you are finally on the receiving end of what you delivered to them for 18+ years!)
On occassion, before getting out of bed in the morning, I remind myself of how many hours before the kids go down for a nap.
Some days I am reminded that it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
But every day, I have the unconditional love of my family. A supportive husband who works hard to take care of his family. Three precious babes who give the best hugs, kisses and notes a mom could ever hope for. And Charlie, the coolest little shih-tzu who ever lived!
In the chaos of life that surrounds me, the only choice I have at this point is to accept it. I've tried fighting it (the chaos), but seriously, I GIVE UP! It's a losing battle that I am not fit to fight! I've resorted to a new strategy that seems to be more effective. I am giving up my control in the situation and giving it to God; He's far better suited for the job than I ever was in the first place. I surrender!!!
There are days when I am convinced that there are just not enough hours in the day to get done what I need to get done. But then I discovered, God gives us just enough time in a day to complete what He desires for us to complete, and no more. Wow! So my to-do list is longer than God's? Well that's just awesome news! I'm so glad I'm no longer in charge! I could get used to this!
I am giving up control, slowing down (really, I swear I am), and attempting to learn whatever it is I am supposed to learn from the "incidents" I face throughout my day. Heck, maybe pulling the rug out from under me is the best way to get my attention! God knew how to get me to finally give up control...making me realize that I don't have the ability to do this job on my own was effective, to say the very least.
Nugget of truth for today:
"He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe."
Proverbs 28:26
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Blending In, Or Standing Out Part 2
As I prayed and asked for God's wisdom in what He wanted for me in this current season of my life, He pointed me to the following passages of scripture, Romans 12:2, and Isaiah 26:3. In them, I found both direction and reassurance.
Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, perfect, and pleasing will." This truth that God spoke to me coincided with a recent Bible study I had been doing in the book of Daniel. With God, there are no coincidences, He's planned it all, and I have no doubt that he was speaking directly to me, convicting me of some poor choices. My choices do not always reflect that of a follower of Christ. I am human, and I am a sinner. However, reading Romans 12:2, and studying Daniel together were clear instructions from God that I needed to do something about my choices. Daniel was strong enough in his faith and his trust in God, that he did not conform to the patterns of the indulgent world of Babylon, where he was forced to live. Even with the fear of death, Daniel honored God's commands to him, before he worried about what anyone else would say or do to him. He knew that in his obedience, God would protect him. Daniel stood out in his day for living a life of integrity, standing firm in his beliefs, and God used him for great things. That is what I hope to do as well.
My eyes have been opened to the patterns of this world. I've begun recognizing how our materialism has affected our incessant need for more, never ever satisfying our desires. Living selfishly, pursuing our own interests which might not be in the best interests of our children and husbands/wives are a common pattern of this world. After all, we are in an era of entitlement, and goll darn, "I deserve to be happy." The constant disrespect for men, mainly husbands, in the media has given many women permission to do the same in their homes. We are reaping what we've sown, for sure, in this department. However, disprespecting our men has become a comman pattern of this world we live in. Divorce is at an all time high. Our speech; sarcasm, crude language, sexual inuendo and gossip have become acceptable in our culture. Chalk it up to our false sense of freedom of speech, regardless of who we hurt in the process. The television shows I choose to watch, the music I chose to listen and dance to, and the people I choose to associate with all affect what is going on inside my heart and mind. And if our hearts truly are "the wellspring of life," as Proverbs 4:23 tells us, then the outflow of our hearts is only as good as what we choose to fill it with.
The patterns of this world are what have brought our country to a current state of depression financially and emotionally. People have placed their trust in the things of this world to make them happy, or to provide fulfillment. Time and time again, the things of this world (money, success, material possessions, drugs and alcohol, etc.) bring only temporary gratification, and long term lack of fulfillment. Placing our trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, and our lives in His hands, is the only true source of unending joy. Only He is able to provide that "perfect peace," that Isaiah 26:3 speaks of. This perfect peace is what we all seem to be searching for, yet we have been searching in the wrong places. Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." God will not keep us in perfect peace him who trusts in the stock market, or our jobs, or the economy, or our earthly possessions, or our husbands. Only those of us who chose to place our trust in God will be blessed with perfect peace. Perfect peace does not necessarily mean free from strife and hardship. No one is free from experiencing strife and hardship. However, when we allow him access to our hearts fully, He promises to bring us peace.
I am chosing not to be lured away from living my faith by the enemy who reminds me that I might not be accepted by my peers if I speak too loudly. Previously, my insecurities, and the fear of not fitting in would have kept me from sharing publicly my struggles and victories in Christ. I am a different person now, and I'm choosing to STAND OUT, and stand up for my belief in Jesus Christ as my savior. I am willing to walk in obedience, even when that means chosing the road less travelled by my peers. And, I am ok with hearing whispers of, "she must be crazy!" Or, "she's lost her mind!" ;) I embrace the label "Jesus Freak" wholeheartedly!
Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, perfect, and pleasing will." This truth that God spoke to me coincided with a recent Bible study I had been doing in the book of Daniel. With God, there are no coincidences, He's planned it all, and I have no doubt that he was speaking directly to me, convicting me of some poor choices. My choices do not always reflect that of a follower of Christ. I am human, and I am a sinner. However, reading Romans 12:2, and studying Daniel together were clear instructions from God that I needed to do something about my choices. Daniel was strong enough in his faith and his trust in God, that he did not conform to the patterns of the indulgent world of Babylon, where he was forced to live. Even with the fear of death, Daniel honored God's commands to him, before he worried about what anyone else would say or do to him. He knew that in his obedience, God would protect him. Daniel stood out in his day for living a life of integrity, standing firm in his beliefs, and God used him for great things. That is what I hope to do as well.
My eyes have been opened to the patterns of this world. I've begun recognizing how our materialism has affected our incessant need for more, never ever satisfying our desires. Living selfishly, pursuing our own interests which might not be in the best interests of our children and husbands/wives are a common pattern of this world. After all, we are in an era of entitlement, and goll darn, "I deserve to be happy." The constant disrespect for men, mainly husbands, in the media has given many women permission to do the same in their homes. We are reaping what we've sown, for sure, in this department. However, disprespecting our men has become a comman pattern of this world we live in. Divorce is at an all time high. Our speech; sarcasm, crude language, sexual inuendo and gossip have become acceptable in our culture. Chalk it up to our false sense of freedom of speech, regardless of who we hurt in the process. The television shows I choose to watch, the music I chose to listen and dance to, and the people I choose to associate with all affect what is going on inside my heart and mind. And if our hearts truly are "the wellspring of life," as Proverbs 4:23 tells us, then the outflow of our hearts is only as good as what we choose to fill it with.
The patterns of this world are what have brought our country to a current state of depression financially and emotionally. People have placed their trust in the things of this world to make them happy, or to provide fulfillment. Time and time again, the things of this world (money, success, material possessions, drugs and alcohol, etc.) bring only temporary gratification, and long term lack of fulfillment. Placing our trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, and our lives in His hands, is the only true source of unending joy. Only He is able to provide that "perfect peace," that Isaiah 26:3 speaks of. This perfect peace is what we all seem to be searching for, yet we have been searching in the wrong places. Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." God will not keep us in perfect peace him who trusts in the stock market, or our jobs, or the economy, or our earthly possessions, or our husbands. Only those of us who chose to place our trust in God will be blessed with perfect peace. Perfect peace does not necessarily mean free from strife and hardship. No one is free from experiencing strife and hardship. However, when we allow him access to our hearts fully, He promises to bring us peace.
I am chosing not to be lured away from living my faith by the enemy who reminds me that I might not be accepted by my peers if I speak too loudly. Previously, my insecurities, and the fear of not fitting in would have kept me from sharing publicly my struggles and victories in Christ. I am a different person now, and I'm choosing to STAND OUT, and stand up for my belief in Jesus Christ as my savior. I am willing to walk in obedience, even when that means chosing the road less travelled by my peers. And, I am ok with hearing whispers of, "she must be crazy!" Or, "she's lost her mind!" ;) I embrace the label "Jesus Freak" wholeheartedly!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Blending In, or Standing Out: Part 1
For much of my life, I have struggled with this question. Do I want to blend in with the crowd, or do I want to stand out? If I am blending in, is it because I am nothing special? Or is it because I am "normal," just another face in the crowd? Is it a place of security for my insecure self? For much of my life, I was afraid to stand out, because I felt that I would stand out for the wrong reasons; not being accepted by my peers, for being weird, or for doing something embarassingly wrong. Being a first-born child, and a perfectionist, I have struggled with the fear of failure, and I continue to struggle with those fears today as an adult.
As a dancer growing up, I found that I had a natural ability for dance, and I absolutely loved it! I loved the way dancing made me feel, and I loved the response (approval) from the audience, especially after performing a piece that my fellow dancers and I were sure would be a hit! Isn't it ironic that someone who loves performing on stage, is also intimidated and terrified of what people think of her? In order to succeed in performance (in other words, if you wanted to actually work) it was absolutely necessary to stand out! (Unless of course you were dancing in the chorus...then there's no room for divas!) ;) Dance, and performing in general, helped me to overcome some of those insecurities I had, and gave me the confidence to take risks. I would say I am far less fearful of taking a chance that might cause me to stand out rather than blend in. I have learned to overcome the anxieties of being in front of a crowd. Funny, I can be a complete idiot in a Dolly Parton costume on stage in front of hundreds, but shy and nervous when it comes to interacting with a new friend. How odd...
I am learning that God is calling me to stand out in a way that I never would have been comfortable with even 10 years ago, and I am now willing to risk facing my fear of looking "different" in order to walk in obedience with Him. I am now chosing to walk the road less travelled, and I am striving to "live my life worthy of the calling to which I have been called."
What is that calling?
This is a question that so many of us wrestle with. I've debated over whether I was "hearing" Him correctly. I've asked for numerous "signs" that I was really understanding what He was saying. I've politely disagreed with what I felt was His call on my life. And, I've screamed out in a fit of tears, pleading with God at times to let me have my own way. Now that I'm a mom, I have a small taste of how exhausting it must be for God to have us debate with Him about whether or not He knows better than I do. I am now adopting Simon's attitude of, "...but, because you say so, Lord." It doesn't make sense to me, but because you say so, I am willing. Let's just say, that God is asking me to abandon all that I have known as a comfort, joy or stability in my life, and trust in His provision with everything I have. Yes, the art of losing myself...
As a dancer growing up, I found that I had a natural ability for dance, and I absolutely loved it! I loved the way dancing made me feel, and I loved the response (approval) from the audience, especially after performing a piece that my fellow dancers and I were sure would be a hit! Isn't it ironic that someone who loves performing on stage, is also intimidated and terrified of what people think of her? In order to succeed in performance (in other words, if you wanted to actually work) it was absolutely necessary to stand out! (Unless of course you were dancing in the chorus...then there's no room for divas!) ;) Dance, and performing in general, helped me to overcome some of those insecurities I had, and gave me the confidence to take risks. I would say I am far less fearful of taking a chance that might cause me to stand out rather than blend in. I have learned to overcome the anxieties of being in front of a crowd. Funny, I can be a complete idiot in a Dolly Parton costume on stage in front of hundreds, but shy and nervous when it comes to interacting with a new friend. How odd...
I am learning that God is calling me to stand out in a way that I never would have been comfortable with even 10 years ago, and I am now willing to risk facing my fear of looking "different" in order to walk in obedience with Him. I am now chosing to walk the road less travelled, and I am striving to "live my life worthy of the calling to which I have been called."
What is that calling?
This is a question that so many of us wrestle with. I've debated over whether I was "hearing" Him correctly. I've asked for numerous "signs" that I was really understanding what He was saying. I've politely disagreed with what I felt was His call on my life. And, I've screamed out in a fit of tears, pleading with God at times to let me have my own way. Now that I'm a mom, I have a small taste of how exhausting it must be for God to have us debate with Him about whether or not He knows better than I do. I am now adopting Simon's attitude of, "...but, because you say so, Lord." It doesn't make sense to me, but because you say so, I am willing. Let's just say, that God is asking me to abandon all that I have known as a comfort, joy or stability in my life, and trust in His provision with everything I have. Yes, the art of losing myself...
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